Subaru Enthusiasts Car Club of the Sierras - View Single Post - Anyone have access to a Subaru Select monitor?

sperry · 2012-07-30, 01:00 PM

Alternate Title: "Burn all dealerships to the ground"

Last weekend I installed a remote starter in my Outback. Instead of using the old key-in-a-box deal to bypass the security transponder, I ordered a programmable transponder pill specific to Subarus. It's literally exactly like a factory transponder key w/o the physical cut key part. Then I got a blank key cut at Home Depot. Hold the transponder pill next to the blank key while starting it, and it's exactly the same as a factory key.

Went to Lithia to get the pill programmed. The dude tells me it's $128... plus $15 for the key. Excuse me? First $128 is insanity for literally 5 minutes of work (plug in the select monitor, turn 4 keys in the ignition, done)... but another $15 for what? For the key that I'm supplying? Why not charge me $143 instead of making up a $15 charge for fuck-all nothing? On principle, I told the guy I'd go to Carson, and walked out.

Called Michael Hohl Subaru from Lithia's parking lot. Dude tells me it'll be $50 to program a key. Sure, that's still $10/minute, but it's like 1/3 Lithia's crackhead price. I hauled ass down to Carson... just to be told by the service guy there "we can't program an aftermarket key". I argued with the dude, but he talked the shop manager and was told "it won't work". I asked the guy to try it anyway, I'm happy to pay. Nope. Fuck you dude, for $50, if I asked you to fucking program a banana to my car, you should fucking hop to and give it a shot. "Well sir, it doesn't appear that this banana properly paired to the ECU, but thanks for the $50."

So thanks Michael Hohl for wasting an hour and a half of my time.

I swear, I can't believe how combative, unhelpful, and condescending dealerships are. Fuck both of them. I guess I'm going to have to drive to California to try to find a service dept. that's willing to just give something a shot. Or pony up $3000 for my own Subaru scanner. If only the goddamn SSM protocol was published somewhere, I'd write my own programmer software over my Tactrix cable. Anything is preferable to dealing with the fucktards at the dealership. Never again. For anything.

So, anyone have access to an SSM? Anyone know someone at a dealership that isn't a total brain-dead goober that can understand enough about how a key works to think that maybe, just maybe, someone might have invented an aftermarket equivalent to a transponder that will program up to the ECU just like a factory key?

2012-07-30, 01:00 PM	#1
sperry The Doink Real Name: Scott Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Portland, OR Posts: 20,335 Car: '09 OBXT, '02 WRX, '96 Miata Class: PDX/TT-6 The way out is through	Anyone have access to a Subaru Select monitor? Alternate Title: "Burn all dealerships to the ground" Last weekend I installed a remote starter in my Outback. Instead of using the old key-in-a-box deal to bypass the security transponder, I ordered a programmable transponder pill specific to Subarus. It's literally exactly like a factory transponder key w/o the physical cut key part. Then I got a blank key cut at Home Depot. Hold the transponder pill next to the blank key while starting it, and it's exactly the same as a factory key. Went to Lithia to get the pill programmed. The dude tells me it's $128... plus $15 for the key. Excuse me? First $128 is insanity for literally 5 minutes of work (plug in the select monitor, turn 4 keys in the ignition, done)... but another $15 for what? For the key that I'm supplying? Why not charge me $143 instead of making up a $15 charge for fuck-all nothing? On principle, I told the guy I'd go to Carson, and walked out. Called Michael Hohl Subaru from Lithia's parking lot. Dude tells me it'll be $50 to program a key. Sure, that's still $10/minute, but it's like 1/3 Lithia's crackhead price. I hauled ass down to Carson... just to be told by the service guy there "we can't program an aftermarket key". I argued with the dude, but he talked the shop manager and was told "it won't work". I asked the guy to try it anyway, I'm happy to pay. Nope. Fuck you dude, for $50, if I asked you to fucking program a banana to my car, you should fucking hop to and give it a shot. "Well sir, it doesn't appear that this banana properly paired to the ECU, but thanks for the $50." So thanks Michael Hohl for wasting an hour and a half of my time. I swear, I can't believe how combative, unhelpful, and condescending dealerships are. Fuck both of them. I guess I'm going to have to drive to California to try to find a service dept. that's willing to just give something a shot. Or pony up $3000 for my own Subaru scanner. If only the goddamn SSM protocol was published somewhere, I'd write my own programmer software over my Tactrix cable. Anything is preferable to dealing with the fucktards at the dealership. Never again. For anything. So, anyone have access to an SSM? Anyone know someone at a dealership that isn't a total brain-dead goober that can understand enough about how a key works to think that maybe, just maybe, someone might have invented an aftermarket equivalent to a transponder that will program up to the ECU just like a factory key? __________________ Is you is, or is you ain't, my con-stit-u-ints?