[Nick Koan]

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her
class how many of them are Bush fans.

Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to
be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their
hands except one boy-Johnny.

The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be
different. Johnny says, "I'm not a Bush fan". The
teacher says, "Why arent you a Bush Fan?" Johnny says,
"I'm a John Kerry fan." The teacher asks why he's a
Kerry fan. The boy says, "Well, my mom's a Kerry fan,
and my Dad's a Kerry fan, so I'm a Kerry fan!"

The teacher is angry because this is Texas, so she
says, "What if your Mom was a moron and your Dad was
an idiot, what would that make you?"

Johnny says, "That would make me a Bush fan".

**************

There was a much married woman who walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

"Well", replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type of dress are you looking for?"

The bride to be said:, "A long frilly white dress with a veil."

The sales clerk didn't know quite what to say but she finally said, "Frankly, madam, gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time, for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean?"

"Well" replied the customer, more than a little put out, "I can assure you that I am as innocent as the rest of them. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as any first time bride."

"You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding he died as we were checking into our hotel.

My second husband and I got into a terrible fight in the limo on our way to the reception and have not spoken since. We had that wedding annulled immediately."

"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk:.

"Well" said the woman, "he was a Republican, and every night for four years he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be."

********

Word-for-word excerpt from the Philadelphia Inquirer:

Bush orders officials to stop the leaks
By Joseph L. Galloway and James Kuhnhenn
Inquirer Washington Bureau

WASHINGTON - Concerned about the appearance of disarray and feuding within his administration as well as growing resistance to his policies in Iraq, President Bush - living up to his recent declaration that he is in charge - told his top officials to "stop the leaks" to the media, or else.

News of Bush's order leaked almost immediately.

Bush told his senior aides Tuesday that he "didn't want to see any stories" quoting unnamed administration officials in the media anymore, and that if he did, there would be consequences, said a senior administration official who asked that his name not be used.