1) Why the fuck did it take 20 minutes to go through the Carl's drive-thru? I mean really, they spent millions of dollars designing custom hardware and procedures to get people their greasy-ass sandwiches in 3 minutes. What the hell kind of retards are you guys that you can't operate the system to within 10% of it's designed efficiency?
2) When they ask me "we're all out of garden salads, can we give you a chicken salad instead?" what they're really asking is "we've got an ass-load of two day old chicken salads that we can't fit in the fridge anymore, how about we give you one of those instead of the garden salad you ordered because you'll think you're getting the larger, better salad for the price of the smaller garden salad?"
3) Stop signs in the Walbog's parking lot must have been updated.
Thanks to the lady driving her Expedition, I now have half a liter of iced tea on my floormat. Good to know the SVX's brakes work better than the cup holder that is my crotch.
4) If you're going to drive a lifted vehicle... spend some money on adiquate mud flaps. I now have another little chip in my $1200 to replace windshield. It's really minor, but it's right in my line of sight.
5) Green lights *do not mean* slow to half the speed limit before entering the intersection. Especially when the light's been green for 20 seconds and 10 other cars in front of you just went through it at full speed! You're probably the same person that stops on the freeway on ramp because it looks like there were cars coming.
About the Author:
Sperry just recently realized that he's an asshole. He used to just think he was a nice guy that acted like an asshole occationally, but has since come to the realization that
more often than not he's a
dick. He no longer gives anyone the benefit of the doubt. If you don't show him that you're a useful member of society, then he thinks you should fucking die a horrible death, sooner rather than later, preferably before you breed, so he won't have to deal with you or your resource sucking offspring.