Worst birthday ever.

[doubleurx]

Originally Posted by sti deede

Agreed. That is really graphic. I prefer the term truck stop. Leaves a little to the imagination, but still is gross.

Or more graphic: "growing a leaky monkey tail"

[ArthurS]

Damn. That sucks to hear. Must be going around, my co-worker also is sick as hell.

[JC]

Sucks man, hope you feel better. It could be worse you could have gotten a WRX. Happy belated birthday.

[Kevin M]

Thanks guys. The extra 9 hours of sleep I got today after calling in sick again seems to have done the trick. Now I mostly just feel dehydrated, but at least I'm coherent again. I'll be out at the meet I think.

[sperry]

Originally Posted by BAN SUVS

Thanks guys. The extra 9 hours of sleep I got today after calling in sick again seems to have done the trick. Now I mostly just feel dehydrated, but at least I'm coherent again. I'll be out at the meet I think.

Drink water! I put myself into the hospital because I didn't drink enough fluids when I had mono. I've never felt so sick in my life... it was like Sushi Pier 2 times eleventy-billion!

[Dean]

While we enjoy your company, I don't think we need to infect the whole group... Can you wear you Michael Jackson mask?

[sybir]

Touching display, Dean......

[soggynoodles]

Originally Posted by sperry

Drink water! I put myself into the hospital because I didn't drink enough fluids when I had mono. I've never felt so sick in my life... it was like Sushi Pier 2 times eleventy-billion!

eww.. who did you kiss??

Well happy bday kevin. yea I know it's late. Drink vodka, you'll feel better.

Your i-club amigo

soggynoodles

[Kevin M]

Originally Posted by Dean

While we enjoy your company, I don't think we need to infect the whole group... Can you wear you Michael Jackson mask?

I'm pretty much okay now... your contagiousness is higher when you first get sick... once you're recovering it's a lot less likely to pass it on.

[sti deede]

"I'm not dead."
"Yes he is."
"No I'm not"
"Well he will be soon"
---clank
"See you next week."

[Kevin M]

Originally Posted by sti deede

"I'm not dead."
"Yes he is."
"No I'm not"
"Well he will be soon"
---clank
"See you next week."

"Well, when's your next round?"
"Umm, not til Tueday I should think."
"Well, he's really quite ill, he won't last that long... isn't there something you can do?"
"Well, alright, just this once... <clank>"
best movie ever.

[Dean]

Arghhh... The dead guy has some of the best lines and you missed them...

If you are quoting, please get it close to right...

From: Stone Dead Productions

Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Scene 2: 'Bring out your dead!'

[thud]
[clang]
CART MASTER:
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[cough cough...]
[clang]
[...cough cough]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead! Ninepence.
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out...
[rewr!]
...your dead!
[rewr!]
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER:
Here's one.
CART MASTER:
Ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:
What?
CUSTOMER:
Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:
'Ere. He says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER:
Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not!
CART MASTER:
He isn't?
CUSTOMER:
Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER:
No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
CART MASTER:
Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON:
I don't want to go on the cart!
CUSTOMER:
Oh, don't be such a baby.
CART MASTER:
I can't take him.
DEAD PERSON:
I feel fine!
CUSTOMER:
Well, do us a favour.
CART MASTER:
I can't.
CUSTOMER:
Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
CART MASTER:
No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER:
Well, when's your next round?
CART MASTER:
Thursday.
DEAD PERSON:
I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER:
You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: [singing]
I feel happy. I feel happy.
[whop]
CUSTOMER:
Ah, thanks very much.
CART MASTER:
Not at all. See you on Thursday.
CUSTOMER:
Right. All right.
[howl]
[clop clop clop]
Who's that, then?
CART MASTER:
I dunno. Must be a king.
CUSTOMER:
Why?
CART MASTER:
He hasn't got shit all over him.

[Kevin M]

Google searching movie lines kills teh funnay dean, correct or no.

[sperry]

Wow Dean... you sure are a master of movie quotes.

Here are my favorite quotes from Top Gun:

[quote:34556ae70b] TOP GUN

by

Chip Proser

REVISED

April 4, 1985

Registered, WGAw.

NOTE: Aerial dialogue in CAPS is UHF radio;
plane to plane, plane to carrier.

Aerial dialogue in small case is ICS;
an inter-cockpit system; a live mike,
heard by pilot and RIO only.

TG1 REVISED 04APR85 .


1. EXT. NIGHT. - THE PACIFIC IS ANYTHING BUT

WINDS HOWL. Rain drives horizontal. The sea surges up,
nearly to the flight deck of the Aircraft Carrier USS Kitty
Hawk. The carrier plunges, driving its bow into a wall of
grey water. The deck pitches forward and back, rolls left to
right, and yaws in a corkscrew motion. The entire 93,000 ton
behemoth rises and falls in the TYPHOON-DRIVEN SWELL.


2. SOMETHING DROPS DOWN OUT OF THE NIGHT

A ROAR. Silver wings flash by, a cockpit, fiery jet
exhausts. A forty ton monster drops at 120 knots into an area
the size of a tennis court in a CONTROLLED CRASH.

2A. A SHOWER OF SPARKS, A SCREECH OF RUBBER AND METAL as
the gear hits the deck. The hook catches the 3 wire and the
F-14 TOMCAT is slammed to a halt. It's the scariest thing
you've ever seen, the most dangerous maneuver in aviation and
just another day at the office for a Naval Aviator.

TITLES OVER

HARD DRIVING ROCK AND ROLL - THE CARS - RIDE ME HIGH


3. FLIGHT DECK - THE LANDING SIGNAL OFFICER - (LSO)

Leans almost horizontal into the winds. He holds the pickle,
controlling the landing lights and speaks into a mike. His
calm, professional commands belie the extreme conditions.

LSO
POWER, POWER...DON'T CLIMB...
OKAY, HOLD WHAT YOU GOT.


4. ANOTHER TOMCAT FLIES OVER THE RAMP

It slams in. The pilot hits full power, catches the wire, slams
to a stop, cuts his engines.

5. OMITTED

6. AIR OPS - BELOW DECK

Lots of scopes and electronic gear. The CARRIER CONTROL APPROACH
OFFICER (CCA) watches a blip on radar, reaches for his mike key.



7. EXT. THE TWILIGHT'S LAST GLEAMING - (AERIAL)

We float like gods, above the storm, above the cloud cover,
looking down. From overhead, a probe slides into frame, then
a graceful nose. The cockpit sides by, Pilot, then Radar
Intercept Officer (RIO) barely illuminated by the orange glow
of their instruments. The fuselage gracefully swells to two
enormous air intakes, then variable angle wings, swept back
for high speed flight. Twin tailbooms cant outward,
horizontal stabilizers make constant adjustments. Enormous
twin jet exhaust ports glow red in the moonlight.


8. INT. COCKPIT - (AERIAL)

We become aware of WIND WHISTLE, JET ENGINE SOUNDS, RADIO
STATIC. The pilot, COUGAR, is calm, steady. The Radar
Intercept Officer in the backseat, GOOSE, is a wildman,
always an edge of humor in his voice. A UHF transmission
breaks in..

STRIKE (V.O. filtered)
GHOST RIDER, THIS IS STRIKE... WE
HAVE UNKNOWN CONTACT INBOUND,
MUSTANG. YOUR VECTOR ZERO NINE ZERO
FOR BOGEY.

Almost immediately the RIO picks up a target and responds.

GOOSE
CONTACT 20 LEFT AT 25, 900 KNOTS
CLOSURE.


8A. ANGLE - SECOND F-14 - 115 - COUGAR'S WINGMAN

Come in on the cockpit with stenciled name and call signs: LT.
EVAN MITCHELL is the pilot, MAVERICK. In flight suit and oxygen
mask, we can only see his eyes. they are confident. In his
mid-twenties, he is lean, hard, athletic...the archetype fighter
pilot. His rear-seater is LTJG. WALTER MERLIN; WIZARD.

MAVERICK
I'LL I.D. HIM, YOU HOOK 'EM.

Maverick peels off to right, to high cover position; 5 o'clock.


9. INT. GHOST RIDER 117 - COUGAR'S POV

HEADS UP DISPLAY (HUD) glows dimly on the windscreen. Directly
in front of the stick, two CRT screens display data. The bottom
screen shows a radar sweep. Wedged between the instruments is a
snapshot of a pretty young woman with a 2 month-old baby.


GOOSE
Closing fast. MUSTANG, THIS IS
GHOST RIDER ONE ONE SEVEN. CONTACT
ONE BOGEY, 090 AT 15 MILES, 900
KNOTS OF CLOSURE.
COUGAR
Look for the trailer.

GOOSE
I don't see anything. MAVERICK,
YOU HAVE A TRAILER?


10. MAVERICK'S F-14

Flying in combat spread, 1 mile abeam, higher.

GOOSE
NEGATIVE, COUGAR. LOOKS LIKE HE'S
SINGLE.


11. INT. 117 - COUGAR'S COCKPIT

COUGAR
HANG BACK AND WATCH FOR HIM. HERE
COMES...MIG ONE.


12. EXT. SKY

Closing at 900 knots, The MiG is a speck, then a flash and a
ROAR, a knife-edge pass at 300 feet. It rockets past his left
wing tip and disappears. Cougar kicks rudder, whips the stick,
screams into a tight turning roll and dives after him. He slams
the throttle forward to ZONE 5 AFTERBURNER.


13. EXT. - MAVERICK'S F-14

Maverick sees a SECOND MiG drop from above onto Cougar's tail.


MAVERICK
BOGEY ON YOUR SIX. I'M ON HIS.

Maverick swings after him, lights it.


13A. ALL FOUR JETS SCREAM DOWN IN A POWER DIVE.

They punch through cloud cover into the soup.



14. EXT. COUGAR'S F-14

He is closing on the first MiG when a shocking BLIPBLIPBLIPBLIP
tone breaks into their headsets.

GOOSE
I've got a six strobe. I think
he's locked on us.

COUGAR
It's a MiG 21. They don't have
radar missiles!

GOOSE
Let's hope you're right!

COUGAR
What is he doing?

GOOSE
He's pissing me off!

Cougar swings mad gyrations, cutting back and forth across the
front MiG's tailpipe, trying to break the lock-on. The TONE grows
more insistant.

COUGAR
Can't shake him.

MAVERICK (V.O.)
WHAT'S MIG ONE DOING?

COUGAR
Maintaining course. Straight for
Mustang.

GOOSE
Stay with him.

The tone grows steady, BLIPBLIPBLIPBLIP.

GOOSE
(alarmed)
That's missile lock!

COUGAR
He better be kidding!

GOOSE
Lordy! Eyeball to Asshole.
Hope nobody burps!



14A. INT. MAVERICK'S F-14

MAVERICK
I'LL LOCK ON THEM, COUGAR. (to himself)
Gotcha covered, don't nobody move.

COUGAR
I'M UP HERE TOO, MAVERICK.

MAVERICK
ROGER, COUGAR. (to himself and his RIO)
Okay boys, pull out with your hands up
and nobody'll get hurt.


14B. INT. COUGAR'S F-14

Up front, Cougar checks his gunsight...He gets I.R. lock...

COUGAR
We're locked on MiG ONE. Why
doesn't he disengage?

GOOSE
These guys are getting on my
nerves.


14C. FINALLY, MIG ONE TURNS AWAY.

GOOSE
GHOST RIDER TO MUSTANG. BANDITS
TURNING AWAY.

But Cougar presses forward, and MiG TWO stays on his tail.


MAVERICK
COUGAR, BREAK LEFT. TRY A HIGH G
ROLL UNDERNEATH. BREAK OUT THE
BOTTOM.

Anger gives way to discipline. Cougar's Tomcat breaks left,
dives into dense cloud. MiG TWO still follows.

MAVERICK
HE'S STILL ON YOU, COUGAR.


15. EXT. COUGAR - IN THE CLOUDS

Still hears the tone, BLIPBLIPBLIP...

COUGAR

I KNOW. I KNOW.

He rolls over into wild evasive maneuvers, finally breaks lock.


16. INT. MIG

Breaks out of cloud, looks around, startled. There is nothing,
no F-14. He scans the sky frantically, while rolling the
aircraft. ...Suddenly, he feels a presence. He looks straight up
and behind him. A few feet away, a TOMCAT slides into position
canopy to canopy, an incredible feat of flying. Maverick and
Wizard stare at him. Maverick slides even closer, canopies nearly
touching. The MiG pilot acknowledges them with a weak wave.
Maverick stares for a moment, then flips him the bird.

The MiG pushes negative G, hard down and away. He heads for the
deck.

WIZARD
He's running for it.


MAVERICK
Ah, the thrill of victory and the
agony of defeat.

WIZARD
Speaking of feet, fuel's down to
4.0. We're gonna get them wet
unless we find a Sonoco station.

MAVERICK
COUGAR, THIS IS MAVERICK. I'M
GETTING HUNGRY, LET'S HEAD FOR THE
BARN. ...COUGAR, WHERE ARE YOU?


17. EXT. KITTY HAWK FLIGHT DECK - THE LSO

Stands the on plunging deck, peering into the roaring night.

CCA (Filtered)
GHOST RIDER ONE-ONE-FIVE, THIS IS
MUSTANG. WX THREE HUNDRED. ONE
MILE VISIBILITY WITH HEAVY RAIN.
FINAL INBOUND BEARING THREE-FOUR-
ZERO. DECK IS MOVING.


18. INT. COCKPIT 117 - COUGAR

COUGAR

This is crazy. How the hell we
supposed to land on something we
can't even see!

GOOSE
Hey, if it was easy, everybody
would want to come up here and do
it..... Instead of just us.

COUGAR
(corrects him)
You.

MUSTANG (V.O. filtered)
MUSTANG TO GHOST RIDER 115...110
SPIN, 42 LOCK. AT 5 MILES READ
YOUR NEEDLES.


19. INT. COCKPIT 115 - MAVERICK

MAVERICK
NEEDLES READ DOWN AND LEFT.

CCA (V.O. filtered)
CONCUR, FLY YOUR NEEDLES.

MAVERICK
NEEDLES CENTER.

CCA (V.O. filtered)
ROGER. CALL THE BALL.

MAVERICK
Call the ball? I don't see the
ship!


20. INT. COCKPIT 117 - COUGAR'S POV


BLASTS slam the airframe. Rain tattoos the canopy. A gust rolls
the Tomcat, he straightens it, A gust flips it again.


20A. MAVERICK'S POV

The Carrier lights appear and disappear through the storm.


21. INT. COCKPIT 117 - COUGAR

GOOSE
(To Himself)

A walk in the park, Mustang. You
with me, cat man?...Cougar...you
with me?

Goose is thrown about as the wing dips, straightens, dips.

COUGAR
Help me with this one, I'm really
screwed up.

GOOSE
Bring it left. Bring it left,
You're high.

COUGAR
This is crazy!

GOOSE
What is?

COUGAR
Wait! Hell!..Something's wrong!

GOOSE
What? What is it?

COUGAR
Were upside down!

GOOSE
You're crazy. We're level.

COUGAR
Can't you feel it? I'm hanging in
my straps!

GOOSE
You're not. We're level. Look at
the instruments, we're okay!

COUGAR
They must be broken. I'm hanging in
my straps! We're inverted!

GOOSE
We're not! Trust me! We're okay.


22. FLIGHT DECK - LSO CONTROLLING 115 - MAVERICK

LSO
A LITTLE POWER...FLY THE BALL.
LOOKING GOOD...HOLD WHAT YOU GOT.



23. MAVERICK'S F-14 - ON FINAL APPROACH.


24. INT. COCKPIT - MAVERICK

He hears Cougar's chatter over the air.

COUGAR (V.O. filtered)
WE'RE UPSIDE DOWN! WE CAN'T LAND!

GOOSE (V.O. filtered)
WELL, WE CAN'T STAY UP HERE EITHER.


25. FLIGHT DECK

Maverick's plane settles in over the ramp, suddenly, BLASTS FROM
IT'S AFTERBURNERS...it ROARS over the deck without touching and
off into the night. The LSO is shocked into comment.


LSO
WHERE THE HELL YOU GOING?


26. MAVERICK'S COCKPIT - (AERIAL)

MAVERICK
I...FORGOT SOMETHING.

WIZARD
What the hell you doing?

MAVERICK
Helping him in.

WIZARD
What makes you think we can get
back in? We don't have the fuel
for this.
MAVERICK
Just get me to him.

WIZARD
He's nine o'clock high. We're two
thousand pounds low!


27. DARK TURBULENT CLOUDS

Maverick's plane pulls up behind Cougar's. Cougar's plane
suddenly flips over, flying inverted.


COUGAR
I'm pulling up.

GOOSE
No! Now we're inverted!


Maverick pulls up off the wing of the inverted aircraft. His
voice is calmness itself.

MAVERICK
HEY, ANY OF YOU GUYS SEEN AN
AIRCRAFT CARRIER AROUND HERE?

Cougar looks over, surprised.

COUGAR
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

MAVERICK
EVERYBODY'S GOT TO BE SOMEWHERE.
..NOW WE'RE RIGHT WITH YOU.
YOU ARE INVERTED. ROLL IT, COUGAR.

Nothing happens.

MAVERICK
COUGAR, THIS IS MAVERICK. HALF ROLL
IT. NOW!


Cougar's plane completes the roll, is now upright.

GOOSE
We're on vapor, Cougar, you got to
put it down.

COUGAR
It's crazy, man. Instruments are
crazy. We're gonna have to eject.

GOOSE
TELL HIM, WILL YOU TELL HIM? OUR
INSTRUMENTS ARE OKAY.

MAVERICK
YOU'RE STRAIGHT AND LEVEL, COUGAR.
COUGAR
I'M HANGING IN MY STRAPS. I TURN IT
OVER AND I'M STILL HANGING IN MY
STRAPS. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON
UP HERE?

MAVERICK
YOU'RE NOT IN THE STRAPS. IT'S
VERTIGO, THAT'S ALL IT IS. STAY ON
MY WING. I'LL DROP YOU OFF.

Maverick pulls up wing tip to wing tip, inches apart.

COUGAR
MAVERICK.

MAVERICK
YEAH, COUGAR?


COUGAR
YOU BETTER NOT BE RAGGING ME...
IF YOU'RE FLYING UPSIDE DOWN...

MAVERICK
NO JOKE, COUGAR. ON THE LEVEL.
EVEN I WOULDN'T DO THAT TO YOU.

COUGAR
I'M UPSIDE DOWN. I KNOW IT. I'M
GONNA EJECT.

GOOSE
Look at the weather! They'll never
find us! We're near out of fuel.
Put it down.

MAVERICK
COUGAR, YOU'RE ON THE BALL.

COUGAR
OKAY... OKAY. BUT IF I LAND THIS
THING UPSIDE DOWN. AND I LIVE. I'LL
HAVE YOUR BUTT!

GOOSE
You'll have mine, Cougar. It'll be
where your head used to be.


28. EXT. FLIGHT DECK

All eyes are on what they can see of the approach of the two
planes. Maverick drops him off at the pattern and circles. The
LSO watches the approach. The Tomcat drops a wing, straightens,
drops the wing, straightens ... the approach of a pilot
experiencing vertigo as Cougar tries to satisfy his inner ear.

LSO
LEVEL...YOUR WINGS... EASY...
YOU'RE SETTLING....FLY THE BALL.

A wind shear just off the ramp drives the plane suddenly down.

LSO
POWER...POWER!..POWER!...WAVE OFF!
WAVE OFF WAVE OFF!


AFTERBURNERS BLAST, but the Tomcat horrifyingly settles tail-low
toward the deck. The deck crew watches in terror as the plane
wallows in toward them. The LSO'S turn, take a few steps and
throw themselves off the flight deck.

They sail into the night toward the surging seas a hundred feet
below, then are caught in safety nets hung off the side.


28A. THE PLANE

Settles, settles, standing on it's engines, trying to arrest
it's downward momentum. The hook raises sparks as it skids across
the deck... The plane stops falling and hangs for a moment, about
to blast back up, when the hook catches the last wire.. The wire
snags it, plucking 45,000 pounds of fuel, metal and men out of
the air and slamming it all to the deck. WHAMMMM! Right wheel
flies up the deck and over the side...the gear collapses. The
plane SCREECHES sideways. The crew watches helplessly as it skids
slams into it and comes to rest in cloud of fuel vapor and steam.

The LSO runs up, shouting into the mike.

LSO
COUGAR, GOOSE...COME IN COUGAR!
SHUT YOUR ENGINES DOWN, YOU'VE
ARRIVED.

AIR BOSS
GHOST RIDER! ACKNOWLEDGE!
GHOST RIDER! ACKNOWLEDGE!

Crash crew leaps into action. The fire crew is there. The man in
the Silver Suit jumps up on the wing and crawls to the cockpit.
The figures inside are not moving. He hits the canopy release.
The canopy pops open. Silver suit grabs at the rear seat harness
release. He screams through his suit's aluminized cloth...

SILVER SUIT
Goose, can you hear me? Goose!

Nothing for a moment. He's dead! Then the RIO'S helmet
moves...His head turns. He tears the mask away from his face,
looks up at Silver Suit. His head clears.

GOOSE

Oh, Hello... Valet parking?

Silver suit is stunned for a moment. He straightens up, his head
inclines quizzically. Then it hits him.
SILVER SUIT
Son of a bitch!

GOOSE
You will put it up front,
with the Porsches?

He grabs him under the armpits, drags him out of the plane.

GOOSE
Hey...easy...Take it easy...
I'm a veteran!


Goose grabs a passing crewman by the arm.

GOOSE
Can you check under the hood. I
thought I heard a funny noise.

Other crewmembers help Cougar out. He seems stunned, but Goose
reacts to his fear with frantic one-liners. He grabs a crew
member's radio, as Silver Suit helps him away and looks to the
figures of the Admiral and the Air Boss far up on the bridge...
He waves to them, does his best impression...Desi Arnaz.

GOOSE
Lucy...Ricky...I'n Home!


28B. BRIDGE FLIGHT DECK

A moment of disbelief... Then hysterical, tension relieving
laughter.


28C. FLIGHT DECK

Goose spots Cougar being helped out. He pulls away, reaches back
into the cockpit and grabs Cougar's snapshot of wife and kid.
They lead Goose away as firemen blast the aircraft with foam.

GOOSE
Is it extra for the hot wax?

28D. BRIDGE - FLIGHT DECK - AIR BOSS

AIR BOSS
Clear the flight deck.



29. FLIGHT DECK

A TILLIE, a four wheel mobile crane, slams up to the plane and
slings its lifting harness. Goose turns to Silver Suit.

GOOSE
Well...there goes your tip.
30. INT. MAVERICK'S PLANE

They have monitored the chatter.

WIZARD
It's Goose. He's alright. Bring it
left...You're settling. IS THE
DECK CLEAR?

LSO (V.O. filtered)
(softly)
ROGER, BALL, LITTLE POWER...DON'T
CLIMB...OKAY, HOLD WHAT YOU GOT!

Wizard does a quick sign of the cross, reaches down, grabs his
balls...as...


30A. FLIGHT DECK

The TOMCAT slams onto the deck, clearing the wreckage by inches.


31. INT. CARRIER HATCHWAY - FLIGHT SURGEON, OTHERS

Watch as they bring a shaken Cougar past. Goose, eyes wild,
waves at Maverick and Wizard, rolling up. They flame out -
VVOOOMMMMM! They sit there, immobile, waiting for a tow, looking
numb. Goose does his "stewardess".

GOOSE
On behalf of your Captain and your
crew, I want to thank you for
flying VF101. And next time your
plans include the middle of the
goddamn ocean in the dead of
frigging night, I hope you'll think
of Naval Aviation.

The surgeon looks into Goose's eyes.

SURGEON
Stress reaction...

XO

Check his head.

GOOSE
(wobbling off)
Never mind my head, check my
shorts!


32. SICK BAY - LATER

Cougar lies alone in the dimness, staring at the overhead.

33. 03 LEVEL - BELOW DECKS - OFFICER'S COUNTRY

The usual CLANGS, WHISTLES, ENGINES of Navy life sound FORLORN
ECHOING through the dim, deserted passage. From the distance, a
single figure passes in and out of the glow of the overhead
lights. Cougar comes closer, hobbling unsteadily.

He reaches a door, pulls himself erect and knocks on the sign:

Commander Tom Otawoczek
CO VF 101
STINGER


34. STINGER'S CABIN

The skipper works at his desk, responds without looking up.

STINGER
Come in.

He looks up. Cougar stands in the doorway, a strange, dazed look
on his face.

STINGER
Cougar, what is it? You should be
in sick bay. What are you doing?

He walks over to the skipper's desk. His eyes are glazed, but
his jaw is firm.

COUGAR
Thinking of my wife and kid.

A determined movement. Hand to chest.


34A. OMITTED

Something metal hits it, skids across the polished surface and
clangs up against the coffee mug: gold wings.



35. PASSAGEWAY

Cougar comes out of Stinger's room, bumps into Goose, and
Maverick. He turns the other way.

GOOSE
Cougar!

He stops, turns to them. There is nothing to say. Goose hands
him his snapshot. Cougar looks at his wife and kid for a moment,
then looks up at them. He turns away.

MAVERICK
Cougar? STINGER (O.S.)
Maverick, Goose...Come in here.


36. STINGER'S OFFICE - DOORWAY

Maverick appears, followed by Goose. They stand at
attention.

MAVERICK
Sir?

The Skipper says nothing. Maverick sees the wings on the
desk. He enters, walks over, stares down at them. He picks
them up.

GOOSE
Don't worry. I'll talk to him.

STINGER
Don't.

MAVERICK
He's a good pilot.

STINGER
I talked a man back once. Three
months later, we lost him. It's his
decision. Only he knows.

GOOSE
He's the best you have. He's going
Top Gun!

STINGER
Was.

MAVERICK
What?


STINGER
Was going. (Turns to Maverick.) Now
you are.

MAVERICK
Me?

Maverick stares at the wings, lost in conflicting emotions.

STINGER
Well, he's going (indicating Goose)
and he needs someone to fly the
plane.

GOOSE
Skipper, you can't do this!

STINGER
I didn't do it, he did it himself.
Something about a wife and kid. The
fact is, he's lost it. He knows it.
I know it. You were up there, you
know it, too.
GOOSE
Give him a break, Skipper. It was
raining snakes up there. He'll be
alright, soon as all the gorillas go
home...

The Skipper stares at Goose, non-plussed for a moment.

STINGER
I know some RIOS are a little
wiggy...but you abuse the
priviledge! I don't believe I'm
going to have to put the two of you
in the same cockpit...but there it
is! It may be good for the Navy. It
might be good for you, but most of
all, it's good for me. It'll get
you out of my sight.


GOOSE
But, Skipper, Cougar's been picked
for Top Gun...He's the best of the
best!

STINGER
Well, you'll just have to make do
with him (indicates Maverick).

Goose and Maverick exchange looks.


GOOSE
Mav's a great flyer but....

STINGER
He's a hell of a flyer. In fact,
he's so damn good he might have
been picked for Top Gun himself.
Except for one thing. (SCREAMS) He
just can't seem to follow orders!


Stinger moves slightly, to stand now, directly in front of
Maverick and speak eye to eye at four inches.

STINGER
You just did an incredibly brave thing!
What you should have done was land your
plane. You don't own that plane, the
taxpayers do. I should ream you out for
it. But it just doesn't work with you.
You're a hell of a flyer. You are maybe
...too good. You never really stepped in
it yet. So this is your chance. I'm
gonna send you up against the best. They
are better than you. Maybe they'll knock
that shine off your eagle and you'll
see, finally, where discipline and
teamwork fit it.
Maverick hasn't really heard anything but TOPGUN. He snaps out
of it.

MAVERICK
Sir?

STINGER
That is all. Tell me about the MiG
some other time...

MAVERICK
Yes sir!

He snaps off a salute and does an about face.

STINGER
Maverick..

He turns back.

MAVERICK
Yes sir..

STINGER
The wings..


He looks down at the wings in his hands, slowing walks over
places them gently on the Skipper's desk.

STINGER
Gentlemen!

MAVERICK/GOOSE
Sir?


His facade cracks just slightly.

STINGER
Good luck.


37. INT. PASSAGEWAY

Maverick and Goose push through a gauntlet of aircrews. They
have become notorious. Guys grab at them...questions...the
MiGs?..What happened up there? How close did they get? What did
the MiGs do? One word is heard over and over..."TopGun". Goose is
left behind in the crowd. Maverick pushes through. He walks
fast...faster. Up ladders, around turns, down ladders, through
passageways. Faster. He breaks into a trot, then a canter,
squeezing past enlisted men, parts lockers, then he breaks into a
run...

38. EXT - CARRIER - NIGHT AND STORM

A hatch slams open on the side of the Carrier. He's out on a
catwalk, instantly soaked, running on rain slicked stairs
cantilevered high over the breaking seas. He plunges forward to
the bow of the ship, stands on the very peak. He is yelling
something. He stands there as the bow plunges terrifyingly into
the trough. The water rises like a green mountain, up, up to
break just a few feet below him, showering him with spray. The
noise is incredible.

Come around on his face. It is maddened. He raises his fist and
punches the night.


The foaming slope of the wave rushes up, changing color as it
DISSOLVES TO:

Desert Sand whipping by...

39. MOJAVE DESERT - 1 WEEK LATER

A big bike, a real big bike, a turbo...rockets across the
desert. Fast. Real fast. Aviator shades low above the handlebars
--Maverick. Goose hangs on in back. It cranks faster, pulls
closer...ENGINE SCREAMING. It cranks up a notch, it's going to

explode. It can't go faster, but it does. It SCREAMS HIGHER. It
ROARS under, by and away, leaving dust...


39A. THE BIKE - STILL

Silence. Just the HISS AND POP OF METAL COOLING. Maverick sits
on it, staring out past us. Goose looks over Maverick's shoulder.

We see why. Feet come into the frame. Then the uniform:
California Highway Patrol.


40. COUNTRY ROAD - NEAR SAN DIEGO

40A. ANGLE ON MAVERICK. CHP enters the frame, the usual
hypercivil arrogance tinged with awed disbelief. The usual
questions are spaced for effect as if he might be talking to some
other form of life. Maverick is off the bike, standing at
attention. Goose follows more slowly.

CHP
Son. Do you know why
I stopped you?

Maverick has some good idea how to deal with authority.

MAVERICK
Yes sir. I do sir

The CHP adjusts his own aviator shades.
CHP
Well... What is it?

MAVERICK
(more than sincere)
Sir. You are going to give me a
warning, Sir!


CHP - A touch of a smile, quickly surpressed.

CHP
License and registration.

Maverick hands them over with his Navy ID. CHP scans them,
hesitates a moment over the last, looks up with a touch more
respect.

CHP
Lieutenant, do you know how fast
you were going?


MAVERICK
Yes sir. I do, Sir.

CHP
Well?

MAVERICK
Sir. I was going Mach point one
five.

CHP nods sagely.

CHP
One SIXTH the speed of sound!

MAVERICK
Yes sir.

CHP
(a guess)
Lieutenant... What do you...
usually fly?

MAVERICK
F-14's sir.

CHP
(new respect)
Tomcats?

MAVERICK
Yes sir!

A long pause. Respect in the cop's eyes. He taps the Navy ID on
the handlebars...staring at this sincere young man.

CHP
Lieutenant... Is there...
a Russian attack?

MAVERICK
No sir! But you have to be ready.


The cop nods and stares at him.


41. EXT. MIRAMAR NAVAL AIR STATION - LATER


41A. OMIT


The bike is BLURPING... barely going fast enough to stay
upright. Maverick cool in shades and campaign cap dorks past the
hanger with the sign: FIGHTERTOWN, USA. He pulls ahead. In back
of him, escorting with flashers...the CHP. They pull up at the
gate. Maverick and Goose salute the guard, hands over their ID.
The CHP gets out of his car, leans against the door.

CHP
Lieutenant.

Maverick turns to him.

MAVERICK
Yes, Sergeant?

CHP
Remember one thing.

MAVERICK
Sir?

CHP
Outside of this gate...
I...am Top Gun.

MAVERICK
Yes sir!

He salutes. The CHP returns a snappy one. He gets back in his
car and turns away. Maverick receives his ID and clearance. As he
passes through, a couple of pilots in flight suits (ICE AND
HOLLYWOOD) stare at him. The taller, dark, cool one speaks in a
dry voice, meant to be overheard.

ICE
Uh oh, police escort. This one must
be a real killer.

The second pilot grins big at them. Maverick turns slightly
stares over his shades at them as he passes. Goose grins back the
challenge.

42. AERIAL COMBAT - VIETNAM ERA - F4'S, MIG 17'S - STOCK

The Doors on the soundtrack. Jets swoop, missiles fire, a plane
explodes. Gun camera views of MiGs, SAMS, flak, bombing runs...

VIPER (V.O.)
During the Korean War, the Navy kill
ratio was twelve-to-one. We shot down
twelve of their jets for every one of
ours. In Vietnam, this ratio fell to
three-to-one. Our pilots depended on
missles. They lost their dogfighting
skills.



F-14's fighting with F-5's. Music becomes current.

VIPER (V.O.)
Top Gun was created to teach ACM. Air
Combat Maneuvering...Dogfighting.
Richthofen, Guynemer, Rickenbacker,
Galland, Rudel, Bong would envy us. We
do just what they did, but we do it
beyond the speed of sound.


43. INT. DAY - TOP GUN ORIENTATION ROOM.


VIPER - A tough-looking, confident leader in a blue flight suit,
stands before a video-tape monitor. Behind him, on the monitor,
the dogfighting continues.

VIPER
By the end of Vietnam we upped our
kill ratio to thirteen to one.


He turns on the lights. We see his audience in F.G.

VIPER
You're here 'cause you're the top
one per cent of all naval aviators.

THE CLASS

Sixteen young men - eight flight crews - sit at attention. They
are trim, fit and confident - high school heroes, college jocks.

VIPER (V.O.)
You're the elite, the best of the
best. We're gonna make you better,
because you're job is damned
important.

ANOTHER ANGLE - THE MEN

The camera moves among them. Hold on one of the men; the one who
greeted Maverick at the gate, Ice.

VIPER (V.O.)
With the tensions in the world today, the potential for confron-
tation is greater than ever, and
carrier pilots will be the first
ones there. Air combat excellence
is vital.


Ice is not looking at the speaker, but, rather, in our
direction. HOLLYWOOD, a blond, good-looking pilot, whispers
something to him, and gestures. Ice is getting the lowdown on
someone. The camera moves and we see who that someone is, as
Maverick enters the frame.

VIPER
...Someone once asked me if
training men for air combat made
the world less safe--flying loaded
guns... an accidental confrontation
and so forth...

Maverick feels the stare of the other man and glances in his
direction. Their eyes meet. Ice smiles coldly.


ANGLE - VIPER
VIPER (Con't)
My answer is: the dangerous thing
is being unprepared. You want
trouble, that's what you get when
things don't work out, when you
can't do what you say you can. When
you don't know what you can do. And
when your opponents aren't sure
either. We are not policy. We don't
make policy. Elected officials
...civilians, do that. We are the
instrument of policy. The tip of
the spear. So we had best be sharp.

Maverick has turned to look at Ice. Ice glances back in his
direction. Maverick looks at the back of the room where guys in
blue flight suits stand. They are the instructors. They look
relaxed, poised, mean. Goose is looking up front...Where Viper
has stopped. Goose nudges Maverick.

GOOSE
(whispers)
What are you doing?

MAVERICK
Nothing...That's McGown...that's
Singer, isn't it?
GOOSE
Turn around, pay attention. What
are you doing?

MAVERICK
(musing to himself)
...Just wondering...(turns back)
...who is the best.


He's shocked to find Viper staring right at him, with a killer
grin on his face. He's feels caught like a naughty schoolboy.

VIPER
Really... (smiles)
Ya know. We'd like to know who's
best too. That's why we've got that
plaque on the wall... with the Top
Top Gun crew from each class. You
think maybe your name's gonna be on
it?

Maverick knows he's in trouble, considers the social
alternatives, then tells him the truth.

MAVERICK
Yes sir.

A couple of ooo's and aahh's from the guys. The instructors
stare the challenge at him. He slides lower in his seat.

VIPER
Considering the company you're in,
that's a pretty arrogant attitude.

MAVERICK
(somewhat chastised)
Yes sir.

VIPER
I like that in a fighter pilot.
(couple of laughs from the guys)
It's okay to be confident. You have
to think you're King Kong to want
to try to land on carriers. Just
keep in mind the other component of
success...teamwork.

Viper gathers his notes, the lecture is over.

MAVERICK
Yes sir.

Viper turns back for one more thought.

VIPER
Gentlemen, this is about combat.
Remember, there are no points for
second place. Dismissed.
Viper walks out. Maverick finds Goose looking at him,
quizzically. Others mill around the plaque. A big, friendly bear
of a RIO speaks.



WOLFMAN
A plaque?

HOLLYWOOD
It's not the plaque. The winner can
get assigned here as instructor. He
gets to fight every day.

They move closer to examine the names on the plaque.


44. EXT. "O" CLUB - NIGHT.

Fast cars in the driveway, fast music blares into the
night. It's Wednesday; Animal Night. Maverick, Goose
Hollywood and Wolfman walk to the entrance.



45. INT. WOXOF BAR


Loud music, low ceiling, plaques of the squadrons line the
walls. A dancer gyrates on stage, largely ignored by pilots
talking with their hands. Every pretty girl in San Diego
seems to be here. It's a noisy, rowdy place--a "steam
releaser" for people under pressure. Nevertheless, there is
a control to it all, there are none of the usual bar types,
just pilots and Naval Officers.

The Ghost Riders enter. The place is on fire: a mob of
dancers, flashing lights, blaring HARD ROCK MUSIC. Beer
flows. Pilots talk flying and hustle girls.

NEARBY - AN A7 pilot stands by the bar. He knows Goose and
speaks loudly for his benefit..

A7 PILOT
You know the Fighter Pilots motto?
It's better to be dead than to look
bad.

They grin broadly. Goose replies as they brush past.

GOOSE
I don't know, Frank, anybody gets
off on bombing the shit out of dirt
has got to be queer.

Goose exchanges friendly punches with the attack pilots.
Maverick's introductions and friendly barbs are drowned by the
music. Maverick is a bit reserved. He doesn't move among the
crowd as naturally as Goose does. Hollywood and Wolfman drift

away, searching for quarry. Goose orders beer. He nods toward a
TALL YOUNG MAN across the room.

GOOSE
Keller, Black Lion Squadron. I knew
him at Pensacola. He's damn good.

MAVERICK
Is there anybody in the Navy you
don't know?

GOOSE
Gotta keep track of the
competition.

Goose suddenly reaches out and grabs a guy moving past.

GOOSE
Slider -- they let you into Top
Gun? If you're among the best in
the Navy, I tremble for the
security of this country.

SLIDER
Why Goose, whose butt did you kiss
to get here?

GOOSE
The list is long, but
distinguished.

SLIDER
So's my Johnson.

GOOSE
This is Maverick.

Smiles good-naturedly, shakes hands with Mav.

SLIDER
So I've heard.

GOOSE
Who's your pilot?

SLIDER
Tom Kazansky.

GOOSE
(very impressed)
No shit. The Iceman....

SLIDER
Mister to you.


GOOSE
You think you can stay up with us.

SLIDER
I think, yeah, we'll show you a
thing or two.

GOOSE
This is Evan Mitchell, he steers
the thing.

SLIDER
So I heard. Steers it pretty close.
Sorry to hear about Cougar. He was
a good man.

MAVERICK
Still is..
SLIDER
Yeah. That's what I meant.

Suddenly, behind them, a flame shoots up. Someone ducks his head
and swallows it. The pilot sets an empty glass on the bar.

SLIDER
What was that?

GOOSE
Flaming Hooker. Sort of an
institution around here. Or maybe
this is the institution, I forget
which. It's the house drink. It'll
warm the cockles of your heart ...
and other things depending on where
you spill it.

He motions to the barmaid and she moves over, sets them up.
GOOSE holds a demitasse glass. The barmaid pours Drambuie. They
look at Goose apprehensively. Goose looks at nearby flyers in
Camo fatigues.
GOOSE
You can't show fear in front of
Marines...They're like Doberman's
they'll go for your throat, it's
instinctive.

He takes out match and lights it. Maverick holds his arm.

MAVERICK
You ever done this before?

GOOSE
What, been drunk? Sure! Plenty!


He downs it all in one gulp, slaps the glass on the bar, still
aflame. He stands there, blinking.

SLIDER
How was it?

GOOSE
Could use a dash more jet fuel.

The others are duly impressed. Maverick's gaze falls on Ice
watching from the end of the bar - Slider takes one, Maverick
takes one too, downs it in a gulp. Sundown, taking up the
challenge, motions for one. The barmaid pours it.

GOOSE
Careful, don't make an ash of
yourself...

He tries to drink the flaming concoction. He tries to go for a
sip, but it's too close to his face, he tries to tilt the flame
away, but that doesn't work. Finally he goes for the gulp. He
burns his lip and misses. He sets his hair on fire. It goes up
in a WHOOOSH!!

SUNDOWN
Yeow!

GOOSE
Mayday! Down in flames!

He throws a beer in Sundown's face, quenching the fire. Sundown
blinks through the beer.

SUNDOWN
Thanks, I needed that.

HOLLYWOOD
You guys are not only crazy, you're
dangerous!

Ice comes up from the end of the bar. He motions the Barmaid for
another; it comes. Goose lights it. He gulps it down, cool as
hell.
ICE
(Disdainfully)
Frat boys.


He walks away. Slider goes after him.

MAVERICK
Who is that guy?


HOLLYWOOD
That's Kazanski.

GOOSE
No shit! That why they call him Ice?

HOLLYWOOD
Nope. It's the way he flies - Ice cold.
No mistakes. Wears you down. After
enough time, you just get bored and
frustrated, you do something stupid, and
he's got you.

Maverick moves in Ice's direction. He passes Wolfman dancing
with a girl with bright purple fingernails.

ANGLE - DANCEFLOOR.

GIRL
Why do you all have such funny
names?

WOLFMAN
You gotta have a call sign that's
just your own...never changes...you
have to recognize it immediately.
Then, if someone shouts "Wolf,
break left!"..you react right away.

GIRL
Why do they call you Wolf?

WOLDFMAN
(smiles)
Oh, I don't know.

Goose comes up with his arm around a girl.

GOOSE
Hey Mav, this is Sally. She doesn't
believe a word I say. Tell her I'm
married, will you?

MAVERICK
Yeah, he's married--but then again,
he,s not dead.

Sally laughs and tries to pull Goose back toward the dance
floor. Something in Maverick's eyes makes him hang back with his
partner.
ANGLE - THE DANCE FLOOR - DANCERS

GIRL
Could I get a call sign?


WOLFMAN
Well, I don't know. That depends.

GIRL
On what?

WOLFMAN
Well, it doesn't just happen, you
gotta do something famous.

GIRL
Like what?

WOLFMAN
Oh...I'll think of something.

Maverick smiles at this, but seems on edge... He watches a few
pretty girls enter and eye the pilots in their flight suits, then
turns and walks up to Ice, who sits, drinking with Slider.
Maverick walks over to him. Ice notices Slider's attention going
to Maverick. He turns and grins at him.

ICEMAN
Figured it out yet?

MAVERICK
Figured out what?

ICEMAN
Who is the best.

MAVERICK
Nope.

ICEMAN
Need a hint?

MAVERICK
I think I can work it out on my
own.

ICEMAN
You like to work alone. I've heard
that about you.

MAVERICK
I've heard of you, too. You were in
124 with Bargamian.

ICEMAN
And you were with Cougar. He was my
roommate in flight school.


MAVERICK
He's a good man.
ICEMAN
The best.

SLIDER
You must have soloed under a lucky
star. First the MiG, then you slide
into Cougar's place.

GOOSE
It's not Cougar's place. It's ours.

ICE
What do you think it was? Was it
that MiG contact that did it?

GOOSE
Did what?

ICE
Got you here.

GOOSE
We're here because we're the best
flyers in the wing. Not because of
some MiG encounter.

SLIDER
What luck! Guys fly their whole
career without seeing a MiG up
close...You're famous.

ICE
You mean notorious.

Something in the way he says it. It's not quite a joke, more an
insult. Maverick's about to take the whole conversation too far
when something...someone catches his eye. She catches quite a few
eyes in this room. She is very pretty and she's walking in on the
arm of a Commander. Maverick turns back, but the moment has
passed. Ice dismisses him with a nod and weak smile. Goose pulls
him away.

MAVERICK
What do these guys think, I made
Cougar quit?

GOOSE
Pay no attention to it. They're
just trying to rattle you. It's all
psychological. Sit down..and drink.


He deposits Maverick at a chair by a table where other pilots
cluster watching and listening to Bugs shoot down his wristwatch.
Maverick broods...
BUGS
We were just really diving down and by
then we were right over downtown
Haiphong. It was some great shit. Jack
says, "What are you doing?" "What, what
am I doing, Jack?" He says, "What are
you doing?" I said, "I'm rolling in,
Jack." "Bugs, we're at thirty-two
hundred feet. Oh shit, we were like
zooom... So we scraped down at hundred
feet right over--downtown Hanoi! Oh
shit, goddamn it! And blowing down the
river. And so once we were there we let
down to about fifty feet just going down
the river and Jack says... "Bugs...
don't ever do that again!" "Okay, right,
Jack, I'll never do that again!"

Maverick pays little or no attention. He broods and drinks.
Suddenly, Hollywood nudges him, he turns.

MAVERICK
What, what is it?

HOLLYWOOD
Target passing. Check your six.

MAVERICK
Never mind mine. Check hers.

They turn. Long legs, great ass, beautiful.

HOLLYWOOD
Her six is a ten! Uh oh, a turn to
engage.



HIS POV - ACROSS A CROWDED ROOM

Maverick sees a stranger, and somehow he knows, he knows even
then. Wolfman turns, sees her walking too.

WOLFMAN
Bogey...9 o'clock level.

SUNDOWN
Nine thirty. Bogey? You presume
that hostile?

HOLLYWOOD

Well, we should contact and check
it out.


She has turned toward them. She passes by. They start to make a
move for her. But just then she finds her date at the bar; a
distinguished man with Captain's stripes. Their smiles freeze and
they slide back in their chairs. Maverick can't stop looking at
her...After a while, the intensity of his gaze draws her
attention. She feels him. She is nodding and smiling to her date,
but her eyes scan the room like radar. A warning tone goes off in
his brain dolu dolu dolu as they lock on him. He feels that
thrill of excitement and fear you get when you know you're
targeted in someone's scope. Her eyes hold on him for a long
moment...long enough, and then sweep by the rest of the room. She
turns her attention back to the Captain and laughs at something
he says.


Over in a corner, Goose chats up a couple of San Diego girls.

GOOSE
The family unit -- that's the most
important thing. It's the only
thing you can count on. I'm married
--did I tell you that?

FIRST GIRL
Four times. We don't believe you.

GOOSE
I've been married since I was
eighteen. Why don't you believe me?

SECOND GIRL
Because you don't look married.

FIRST GIRL
You're not even wearing a ring.

GOOSE
(big smile)
I take it off when I'm chasing
women. It's the only honorable
thing to do.


ANGLE - MAVERICK

He's half listening to Bugs rattle on. His eyes are drawn back
to the woman. He tries not to stare. She seems to know a lot of
people in the club. He looks away. Hollywood is chatting up a
girl with a sincerity that cannot be taught. His line is just as
polished as his appearance.


HOLLYWOOD
You don't think about death up
there, but you think a lot about
the danger. One mistake and you're
a smoking hole in the ground.

GIRL
I never knew it was so dangerous.
HOLLYWOOD
Oh yeah, it makes everything down
here more meaningful. You feel a
certain intensity of life, and you
want to grab onto every moment.

Maverick looks up at the bar again. A shock. She (Charlie) is
staring right at him, intensely, as her date whispers something
in her ear. She notices him, staring back, quickly looks away,
embarrassed. She says something to the man. He nods and turns
away as someone else grabs his attention. The woman, now wouldn't
look this way for anything. She picks up her purse from the bar
and walks through the crowd and out of the room. Impulsively,
Maverick's up, he follows.


46. INT. HALLWAY - OUTSIDE THE BAR

He breaks out, looks around, doesn't see her. Someone disappears
around a corner. He moves after.

CORNER - A door slams shut. Impulsively, before he realizes what
he is doing, he's through it.


47. WOMEN'S ROOM.

A feminine GASP! He should have looked at the sign on the door.
The realization of where he is hits him too late. She is standing
by the mirror, with her make-up out, looking back at him. He's
not quite sure what to do. A hasty retreat would be appropriate,
if embarrassing. Ah, what the hell, he is a fighter pilot! He
just walks right over to her...no idea what he will say. She's
got her lipstick out, twisting it. She looks over at him with an
amused smile.

CHARLIE
Long cruise, was it?

She leans over the sink, puts on lipstick, sees his eyes cover
her.

CHARLIE
Anything I can do to help, Lieutenant?


MAVERICK
Lots of things.

She laughs. He is sort of attractive, but there are other girls
in the room, she doesn't want to be too encouraging...She tries
not to grin at his embarrassment.

CHARLIE
I'll bet!

MAVERICK
Uhhh...Anything I can do for you?
She laughs again, doesn't know what it is...could be chemical,
but she's instinctively attracted.

CHARLIE
Yeah. Hold this. It might be safer.

She hands him a makeup mirror. Starts redoing her lipstick. He
just stares at her...She looks up at him, than back to her
warpaint. Finally, when it comes, it is cool and amused.

CHARLIE
Now I know why all the girls come
here. They know how horny you guys
get. But this...is ridiculous.

MAVERICK
It's not that.

Mock anger. She's toying with him.

CHARLIE
It isn't?

MAVERICK
Well, it is. It is that, too.

CHARLIE
That's a big comfort to me.

MAVERICK
I could be, too.

CHARLIE
How so?

MAVERICK
Save you from a big mistake with
that other guy.

CHARLIE
And on to a bigger one with you?


MAVERICK
Yeah, most likely.

CHARLIE
Was there ever a girl who didn't
like fighter pilots?

MAVERICK
I heard of one once.

She laughs again, shakes her head...another cowboy! She gently
takes the compact out of his hands, snaps it closed.

CHARLIE
I'm really flattered, Lieutenant,
but I don't go out with pilots.
MAVERICK
Then what are you doing here?

Three pretty blondes enter and look at Maverick quizzically but
not without interest.

CHARLIE
I think the question is...what are
you?

She tries to keep a straight face as she walks out of the room.

The other girls look at him expectantly. A beat. He just
stands there, then realizes he's holding her lipstick.

MAVERICK
Hi. I'm here to talk about a new
concept in cosmetics...

47A. WOXOF BAR. She returns, spots the Captain, motioning to
her. Maverick enters, goes to the other end of the bar. He
orders a drink. It comes. He drinks it, pays for it, moves off
toward the door. Someone backs into his path, he moves quickly
and bumps into someone else; her.

CHARLIE
Sorry.

She sees it's him.

MAVERICK
My fault. Should have watched
where I was going.

Her hand goes to his collar. She adjusts his insignia. She
smiles.

CHARLIE

Where's your wing man? Who's
watching your six?

MAVERICK
Uh, nobody, I guess.

One final adjustment.

CHARLIE
Too bad.

She breaks the spell abruptly, turns away.

CHARLIE
See you around.

Maverick finds his voice.

MAVERICK
Can I walk you out?She turns back to him, a smile.

CHARLIE
I'm with someone.


48. EXT. "O" CLUB - LATER THAT NIGHT

P.O.V. -

From a car in the parking lot, we see Charlie and the Captain
leave the club. They walk directly toward us and stop. She turns,
says something polite...a peck on the cheek. He turns away. A
dome light briefly illuminates the interior of the car as a door
opens. It rocks slightly as someone gets in. Charlie turns back
and walks over, taking her keys out. She opens the door to the
car and gets in.


48A. EXT. CAR - NIGHT

She starts the car and pulls away. Suddenly, a figure sits up in
the back.

MAVERICK
I thought he'd never leave.

CHARLIE
Yeow!

Startled, she nearly drives off the road. She turns to him,
startled.

CHARLIE
You! What are you doing here?


MAVERICK
Everybody's got to be somewhere.

CHARLIE
What if Captain Dawson had come
with me?

MAVERICK
It would have been really
embarrassing!

CHARLIE
How did you know this was my car?

MAVERICK
Simple deduction. It's fast. It's
pretty. Sleek and stylish...It's
your color...matches your lipstick.

CHARLIE
That's all!

MAVERICK
And I asked someone.
CHARLIE
You think you're pretty smart.

MAVERICK
I think I'm in love.


49. EXT. GUARD GATE

She pulls up at the guard gate, a MARINE CORPORAL is on duty. He
sees the pretty girl pull up and stop, leans over helpfully.

MARINE
Can I help you, Ma'am?

She smiles even more sweetly.

CHARLIE
I don't know, Corporal. Can you do
anything about this lunatic?

The car door swings open. Maverick gets out. The car roars away.
He stands in the glare of the spotlight...rocking on his heels,
looking across at the guard, who snaps to attention and stares
holes in his chest.


50. INT. TOP GUN - NEXT MORNING.


Two guys in flight suits run down stairs past stencils of MiG
kills on walls, then down corridor.

FLEX
Not so fast...my head.

They skid to stop outside a door.


51. INT. HANGAR

Ground crews work on planes in B.G. Jester in middle of lecture.
Door bursts open. Sundown and Flex skid to a halt when they see
whole class looking at them.

JESTER
Who are you?

SUNDOWN
I'm Sundown.

JESTER
Yeah, right. You're late.


Viper breaks in, indicating Flex.

VIPER
And who are you?

FLEX
Flex

VIPER
Flex...? You don't look like Flex
to me. You call that muscle?
Doesn't look like muscle. Looks
like...Pork.

They laugh. Even Sundown has to laugh, scratching his chest.

VIPER
What're you laughing at? You're
Fungus.

Stops scratching.
SUNDOWN/FUNGUS
Fungus!

PORK
Don't make an issue of it, it'll
stick.

FUNGUS (Unhappily)

It'll stick anyway.

Viper turns away...

VIPER
Now to continue. In this class we
will be dealing with F-5's and
A4's, as our MiG simulators.
Technically the F-5 does not have
the thrust to weight ratio of the
MiG-21--it also does not bleed
energy below 300 knots like the
MiG-21 does. The A4 does not turn
as well as the MiG-17 but has
significantly better visibility.

Maverick looks back to his notes. SFX footsteps...door
opening. Viper looks up to back of room door.

VIPER
Hi, Charlie. Good, our TAGREF's
here. Charlie's the most qualified
to get into P subs and curves, and
VN diagrams.

Maverick turns to see the TAGREF walk forward. Maverick
stares at her as she passes without acknowledging him. He is
surprised, embarrassed.

VIPER
Charlotte Blackwood--code name Charlie--
not your ordinary TAGREF. Charlie has
her Ph.D. in astrophysics--she's a
civilian contractor so you don't salute
her...or anything else. Is that clear?

She walks to the front and starts her presentation. She
talks about something very technical, arcane. MiG tactics,
technology. As the briefing rattles on, Maverick reacts to
her. Goose glances over at him. He, too, recognizes the girl.
He looks at his partner. Maverick feels his stare.

CHARLIE
Hello, I think I have some new data for
you...Now a MiG 21 has a problem with
the inverted flight tanks. It won't do a
Negative G push over. Even below one G,
they risk a flame out. Operationally,
they will do a zero to one G only.

A snicker from the audience. She hesitates momentarily, goes
on.
CHARLIE

The latest intelligence shows that
the most they will do in operation
is one....is there something wrong,
Lieutenant.

MAVERICK
I don't think you're altogether
right...about the MiG, that is.

She stops--some of the pilots look at him. Viper glares.

CHARLIE
I beg your pardon.

MAVERICK
No, I beg yours. But I don't think
you're right on that.

CHARLIE
Why not?

MAVERICK
I saw one.

CHARLIE
You saw a MiG 21?

MAVERICK
I saw a MiG do a 4 G negative dive.

CHARLIE
(She doesn't believe him)
Where did you see that?

MAVERICK
It's classified.

Nervous buzz in the room. Viper goes rigid. Charlie can't
believe it.

CHARLIE
It's what?

MAVERICK
It's classified. Like Hollywood
says, I could tell you, but then
I'd have to kill you.

Pork stifles a laugh, the others chuckle. Viper is
embarrassed.

VIPER
Maverick!!!


She stops Viper with a glance.

CHARLIE
It's all right.

She can handle it. She is very cool, not overbearing. She
says it calmly. She doesn't want to embarrass him any more
than he is, but she has to get the facts straight.

CHARLIE
Lieutenant, I have a top secret
clearance. The Pentagon sees to it
that I know more than you.

MAVERICK
Not in this case.
CHARLIE
(Flatly.)
You saw a MiG push negative 4G?

MAVERICK
Yes, ma'am.

CHARLIE
Where were you?

MAVERICK
On his six.

Little stifled laughs.

CHARLIE
He was in a 4G Negative dive and
you were on his six?

MAVERICK
Yes, ma'am, At first. Then I was
directly above him.

She stares at him for a moment, then she has him. She goes
for the kill.

CHARLIE
If you were directly above him, how
did you see him?

MAVERICK
I was inverted.

A real buzz in the room. Ice laughs audibly.

CHARLIE
You were in a 4G inverted dive with
a MiG 21? (She can't believe it.)

At what range ?

MAVERICK
Two.

CHARLIE
Two miles.

MAVERICK
Two meters.


Chuckles, barely suppressed. Goose pipes up to deflect
attention.

GOOSE
One and a half, actually. I got a
polaroid.

CHARLIE
(Flatly.)
Lieutenant...
MAVERICK
Ma'am?

CHARLIE
What were you doing there?

MAVERICK
Giving him the bird.

Open laughter. She thinks it's at her. She grows red.

CHARLIE
The what?

MAVERICK
You know. The finger.

He shows her, but she can handle this.

CHARLIE
So you're the reason those
SALT talks failed.

The room breaks into laughter. At him. Now he grows red.
Goose puts his hand on Maverick's arm, shakes his head as if
to say: "Let it go, pal, she got you".

She looks at Viper. He doesn't know whether to laugh or cry.
He knows there's something here he doesn't control.

VIPER
Lieutenant!


GOOSE
It's just like he says, sir.

VIPER
(He snaps)
I don't care!


51A. CORRIDOR - OUTSIDE LECTURE HALL

She walks away. He runs up and stops her.

MAVERICK
Why didn't you tell me you were a
TAGREF?

She studies him coolly for a moment, like a specimen.

CHARLIE
It never came up.

MAVERICK
You let me make a fool of myself.

CHARLIE
You seemed determined to do that
anyway.. Why didn't you tell me you
were a famous MiG insulter?
MAVERICK
Would it have made a difference?

CHARLIE
No.

MAVERICK
What would?

CHARLIE
You know, I'm assigned to this
school. I see sixteen new hotshots
every eight weeks. Your attention
is flattering, but not really
productive. Why don't you keep your
mind on flying.

She reaches over and aligns his collar insignia.

CHARLIE
Why can't you keep this straight?

She smiles at him and walks away. Maverick turns, sees the
others sizing him up. Most of them grin. Maverick moves down
the corridor past the CO's Office. Viper leans against the

doorsill. He lights a pipe, laconically eyes Maverick. His
tone gives away nothing, like an ELINT probe eliciting a
response.

VIPER
Maverick... Where'd you get that
call sign?

MAVERICK
Ahhh... Runs in the family, sir.

VIPER
You're father was Marvin Mitchell..

MAVERICK
Yes sir.

VIPER
A good man. Good flyer.

Viper turns away.

MAVERICK
Yes sir. Thank you sir.

Maverick watches him for a beat, he's been tested, but he's
not sure how or why. He turns to catch up with Goose and the
others.

EXT. SKY - LATER

At twenty-eight thousand feet, the two planes circle each
other, going in opposite directions. As they jockey for
position, they snap past each other like ends of bullwhips.

The earth spins, the horizon appears and disappears. With
each hard turn, Maverick and Goose can be heard "grunting" to
keep blood in their brains, to keep from passing out.

The fight is hard, physical, and exhausting. The extreme G
forces--6.5--flatten them against their seats, causing their
heads to weigh over one hundred pounds. Maverick strains to
turn his head and track the other jet as it streaks past at
Mach One.
MAVERICK
I've lost him -- where is he?

GOOSE
On your six -- coming hard. Four
hundred. Losing airspeed! He's on
your six and closing fast!
Hard left! HARD LEFT!


Maverick jerks the stick left, and the F-14 takes an
astonishing turn. Jester ROARS past into a wide arc.

GOOSE
Great move. Great

MAVERICK
He should've had me.
GOOSE
Take it down. Let's bug out of
here. Call for a draw.

MAVERICK
No way. I'll nail him this time.
Going vertical.


THE PLANE EXPLODES INTO AFTERBURNER - rocketing toward
space. Jester is left in direct line with the sun, and his
canopy is sprayed with a blinding glare. Going ballistic is
dangerous. The plane flys like a bullet, obeying the laws of
physics, not the pilot's touch on control surfaces. The
ballistic call warns other aircraft that he is, for the
moment, out of control.

GOOSE
He's blind -- you got him!

JESTER
NO JOY! NO JOY! WHERE ARE YOU?
I'VE LOST SIGHT.

GOOSE
He's out of energy! You got
control? Unload!

The F-14 peels over the egg, in a backward dive. It rockets
down the outside, gaining energy. Over the ROAR of jets, the
SCREAM of the wind, Goose shouts data, but it is muffled, a
distant voice in a typhoon. Through the canopy, we see
Jester, and he hangs in the air like a sparrow in the path of
a falcon.

PILOT'S POV - HUD in windscreen - a diamond in a box.
Maverick lines up the diamond with Jester, and we hear the
high pitched tone BEEPING.

JESTER
WE'RE BELOW THE HARD DECK. FIGHT'S
OFF.

GOOSE
He's right. We're at ten thousand.


MAVERICK
No way. I got you, sucker. You're
going down.

Jester maneuvers, but Maverick keeps him in the gunsight.
The BEEPING is louder, faster.

MAVERICK
In the envelope. FOX TWO MISSILE
SHOT. YOU'RE GONE, JESTER, DEAD!
GOOSE
(stunned)
Goddamn! We beat him!

There is an edge of anger in Jester's voice.

JESTER
ROGER FOX TWO. GET YOUR BUTTS ABOVE
THE HARD DECK. RETURN TO BASE
IMMEDIATELY.

They are brought up short for a moment, then the thrill of
victory gets the best of them. Goose lets out a war whoop.
The F-14 sweeps up, rolls into an Immelman..

MAVERICK
We did it!

GOOSE
Look, Ma, top of the world!


52A. EXT. MIRAMAR - LANDING PATTERN.

Maverick's Tomcat breaks hard and high, rolls over on its
side, wings perpendicular to the ground. Goose sees the world
go sideways.

GOOSE
Ahhh...A little high on the left,
don't you think?

MAVERICK
Right.

He aileron rolls another quarter turn. Inverted, they pass
right down the runway. Goose looks out and insouciantly
watches the world go by at 300 knots, upside down.

GOOSE
Right. Much better. ...Ahhh...what
do you call this?



MAVERICK
It's a victory roll.

GOOSE
I wouldn't call it victory. It's
more like...self immolation.


52B. INT. CONTROL TOWER

Controllers work. Officers watch the landing activity. One
old salt, turns from the coffee machine, a cup of steaming
Java microns from his lips. A ROAR. VABOOM! The Tomcat roars
over. He yelps as hot coffee flys all over his shirt.
52C.
EXT. MAVERICK'S F-14

They complete the roll, bank left, zoom right by the tower,
level with the observation window.


52D. F-14'S POV. Controllers look out at the F-14, mouths
drop open.


52E. ANGLE GOOSE

He waves jauntily.

GOOSE
Hi...Hi there. How ya doing in
there? Mav... Ahhh...you know, at
one point I did want a Navy career.

MAVERICK
Come on, relax...

GOOSE
You see all those guys with gold on
their shoulders!!?... Oh, no, I
think that was Johnson, Air Boss of
the Kitty Hawk!

MAVERICK
Come on, we beat an instructor. How
many times in your life do you get
to do a victory roll?

GOOSE
Just once, if they take your plane
away.

They roll out, break over the runway.


***
52F. EXT. FLIGHTLINE.

Maverick and Goose walk by parking Tomcats...Ice is
unstrapping, Slider is climbing down. Ice looks at Maverick,
says one word.

ICEMAN
Cowboys!

Maverick keeps walking...Goose hangs back.

SLIDER
Nice. Always a good idea to show up
your instructors.
He nods toward Jester, glaring at them from his A4. Goose
indicates the backseat of the Tomcat.

GOOSE
Hey, see any controls back there?
(thinks about team loyalty,
reacts to Jester's glare...)
And anyway...we beat the Son of a
Bitch!

He turns and runs to catch up with Maverick.


53. INT. LOCKER ROOM - DAY

Pilots half undressed. Maverick and Goose enter the room,
carrying their helmets. The students look up at them, and
Goose suddenly flashes a thumb's up sign with a grin. The
students react with clenched fists, ad libs, high fives,
victory punches.

WOLFMAN
You won?!!!

MAVERICK
Didn't everybody?

"Oooo" -- they all go "ooo" and laugh.

WOLFMAN
No, we...got our butts kicked.

HOLLYWOOD
Thirty seconds. That's all it took
to blow us out of the sky.

WOLFMAN

We went like this, he went like
that. I say to Hollywood: Where'd
he go? Hollywood says: where'd who
go?

HOLLYWOOD
And he's laughing. Right over the
radio, He's laughing at us.

Attention turns to the doorway as Ice and Slider enter. Ice
gives a brief dramatic pause, then flashes thumbs up and
smiles. The students celebrate Ice's win. Ice handles the
attention with the easy composure of one who is used to it.
Maverick ignores him and begins to peel out of his G-suit.
Ice moves toward his locker.
***
GOOSE
You won.
Congratulations. HOLLYWOOD
Maverick and Goose won too.

Ice talks into his locker.

ICE
That's not what I heard.

GOOSE
We won!
Ice turns back, stares them down, then turns back into his
locker, dismissing them.

ICE
Below the hard deck doesn't count.
You guys are the second team,
aren't you?

Maverick gets up, moves to him, starts to say something,
when Jester, breaks into the room.

JESTER
Maverick, Goose. Viper's office. Now!


53A. INT. TOPGUN CORRIDOR OUTSIDE CO'S OFFICE.


SCREAMING AND YELLING. A lot of screaming and yelling,
muffled by the door.


53B. INT. ANTEROOM.

Enlisted Yeomen and Chiefs go about their clerical duties in
acute embarrassment mixed with curiousity. Behind the CO'S door,
someone is screaming his head off.


BOOM! The door bursts open. A big, brawling Officer - Johnson,
the Air Boss - blasts out, nearly smashing into a female petty
officer. She almost spills her coffee. Johnson looks right and
left in fury too strong for words. He looks like he wants to
smash something. They move out of his way, but he justs blasts
through the door and disappears down the hall.
The enlisted men turn to Viper's office.


53D THEIR POV

Jester stands inside stonefaced. Maverick and Goose are
rigid. Viper...with excess calm deliberation, softly walks
over, grasps the doornob. He glances in this direction. The
glance is totally without expression, and even scarier for
that.
***
53D. ANGLE ENLISTED (MEN)

In a flash, each man finds something totally engrossing in
his work, or something terribly important to do elsewhere.
Slowly, steadily, Viper swings his door closed.54. INT.
VIPER'S OFFICE

He moves over to face Maverick. There is a SILENCE like
after a train wreck; nothing but the POPPING of sprung metal
and the low GASP of escaping steam. Viper speaks quietly,
like a funeral director consoling the living. Makes you want
to scream.

VIPER
Well....That about covers the
flyby.

Jester almost breaks into a grin.

VIPER
Now...in addition...you broke two
major rules of engagement. And...
That's ...not good.


Maverick gives no response. Viper continues.

VIPER
Lieutenant Candela lost sight of
you, and called "no joy". You
failed to respond.

He stops and looks at Maverick... A beat. Maverick finally
nods
VIPER
Why?


Maverick is exhausted. It's bee

[sti deede]

Dude that's got to be the single longest post in the history of man.

[AtomicLabMonkey]

Originally Posted by sperry

BOOM! The door bursts open. A big, brawling Officer - Johnson,
the Air Boss - blasts out, nearly smashing into a female petty
officer. She almost spills her coffee. Johnson looks right and
left in fury too strong for words. He looks like he wants to
smash something. They move out of his way, but he justs blasts
through the door and disappears down the hall.
The enlisted men turn to Viper's office.

"GOD-DAMMIT!! That's twice!

I want some BUTTS!!!"

[Dean]

Originally Posted by BAN SUVS

Google searching movie lines kills teh funnay dean, correct or no.

No, misquoting kills teh funay...

Screwing up a 1 liner quote is OK to an extent, but if you are going to do multiple lines, at least get them right considering they are so easily found...

[MattR]

You guys are mean..

[sperry]

Originally Posted by sti deede

Dude that's got to be the single longest post in the history of man.

I didn't think the post even worked... I got a database error posting it... only half the script showed up. Also, that's not the actual movie script... it's the 1st revision, so it's missing some of the best lines, and it has some different character names... like Mav's 2nd RIO is named "FUNGUS".

http://www.allstarz.org/tomcruise/topgunscript.htm

[sti deede]

Originally Posted by sperry

I didn't think the post even worked... I got a database error posting it... only half the script showed up. Also, that's not the actual movie script... it's the 1st revision, so it's missing some of the best lines, and it has some different character names... like Mav's 2nd RIO is named "FUNGUS".

http://www.allstarz.org/tomcruise/topgunscript.htm

You are teh crAzy.