Why I fired the secretary... - Subaru Enthusiasts Car Club of the Sierras

MPREZIV · 2006-12-01, 07:29 AM

Got this in an e-mail... laughed my ass off:

Why I fired my Secretary.

Last week was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!",
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
" Happy Birthday."

I thought...
Well,
that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! "
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !"

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quite bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?"

I responded,
"I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?"
She said,
"Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."

"Ok." I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...

Followed by my wife,

my kids,

and dozens of my friends

and co-workers,

all singing "Happy Birthday".

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked.

sperry · 2006-12-01, 08:53 AM

pwnt.

sonicsuby · 2006-12-01, 10:11 AM

could you imagine? Poor guy

cody · 2006-12-01, 10:16 AM

oops.

sp00ln · 2006-12-01, 05:53 PM

I really lol'd at that. Nice post.

bxracer69 · 2006-12-01, 06:28 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA

Nick Koan · 2006-12-01, 07:02 PM

How come no one forwards me e-mails that are actually funny?

left footed whooten · 2006-12-01, 08:12 PM

*Slow clap*

tysonK · 2006-12-01, 09:01 PM

awesome.

M3n2c3 · 2006-12-01, 10:19 PM

Dammit Cory, your joke just woke up my kid.

Libila · 2006-12-02, 04:17 PM

Hahaha so good!

MPREZIV · 2006-12-04, 07:39 AM

That was another one of those where everybody here at work was wondering why I am laughing my ass off sitting here next to my tool box!

2006-12-01, 07:29 AM	#1
MPREZIV Token Real Name: Le Stig Afrique? Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: sitting next to a big yellow box Posts: 3,589 Car: 2001 Impreza 2.5 RS Class: 05 TDSP No, I won't work on your car. F your car*	Why I fired the secretary... Got this in an e-mail... laughed my ass off: Why I fired my Secretary. Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone " Happy Birthday." I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! " It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !" We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quite bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind ?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner." After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, " Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok." I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday". And I just sat there... On the couch... Naked. __________________ "...these condoms have a topical anesthetic to reduce sensitivity, so you can last longer. What a paradox. You can't feel a thing, but you can f*ck for HOURS..."

2006-12-01, 08:53 AM	#2
sperry The Doink Real Name: Scott Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Portland, OR Posts: 20,335 Car: '09 OBXT, '02 WRX, '96 Miata Class: PDX/TT-6 The way out is through	pwnt. __________________ Is you is, or is you ain't, my con-stit-u-ints?

2006-12-01, 05:53 PM	#5
sp00ln EJ205 Join Date: May 2003 Location: Reno, NV Posts: 1,196	I really lol'd at that. Nice post. __________________ Turbo is a decent with modification.

2006-12-01, 06:28 PM	#6
bxracer69 EJ22 Real Name: Nick Langkamp Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: On the Road Posts: 384 Car: 2003 Mitsubishi Evo8 Class: SM Snowboarding....Because gravity is cheaper than gas	HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA __________________ My better is better than your best. My fast smells like french toast. www.langkampracing.com

2006-12-01, 07:02 PM	#7
Nick Koan JDM Cowboy Real Name: Nick Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Somewhere Posts: 8,642 Car: 2015 Mazda 3	How come no one forwards me e-mails that are actually funny? __________________ While a standard engine is powered by a belt connected to the crankshaft, a turbo engine runs on its own exhaust steam, making it more energy efficient. -- CNN

2006-12-01, 10:11 AM	#3
sonicsuby Wagon Ho #2 Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 657	could you imagine? Poor guy

2006-12-01, 10:16 AM	#4
cody Candy Mountain Real Name: Cody Join Date: May 2005 Location: Californication Posts: 7,751 Car: 03 Pussy Wagon, now with more pink! Class: TESP OMG Internet!	oops.

2006-12-01, 08:12 PM	#8
left footed whooten EJ251 Real Name: Dylan Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Truckee Posts: 539 Car: 06 WRX wagon CGM Class: Stuck working weekends	Slow clap __________________ I'd rather drink muddy water and sleep in a hollow log

2006-12-01, 09:01 PM	#9
tysonK warehouse SECCS Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: SoCal... Posts: 6,253 Car: 04 Evo 99 Cadillac Class: street de le mod	awesome. __________________ Anjali? Anjali?

2006-12-01, 10:19 PM	#10
M3n2c3 EJ205 Real Name: Jeremiah Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Dayton, NV Posts: 1,888 Car: 2005 Impreza 2.5RS, 2000 Forester L Class: RNP sometimes (see motto) "Kids are ruining autocross."	Dammit Cory, your joke just woke up my kid. __________________ Small red text that looks curious at first glance but is ultimately inconsequential

2006-12-02, 04:17 PM	#11
Libila EJ205 Real Name: Tim Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Reno, NV Posts: 1,384 Car: '94 L	Hahaha so good!

2006-12-04, 07:39 AM	#12
MPREZIV Token Real Name: Le Stig Afrique? Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: sitting next to a big yellow box Posts: 3,589 Car: 2001 Impreza 2.5 RS Class: 05 TDSP No, I won't work on your car. F your car*	That was another one of those where everybody here at work was wondering why I am laughing my ass off sitting here next to my tool box! __________________ "...these condoms have a topical anesthetic to reduce sensitivity, so you can last longer. What a paradox. You can't feel a thing, but you can f*ck for HOURS..."